ejcreations

General bs doesnt bother me. Its the people, namely my superiors, who think that because the roster says female and im in the female dorm, i must be a girl. And it doesnt matter how much i say otherwise. They still call me maam, girl, and on the rare occasion 'it'. And the eeo officer sees things like the rest of the world. 'just put up with it because nothing will change.'

what should i do?

i hate the new videos. they said they would use MANY arts by MANY deviant, but on the wizard one (the only one i watched, and the one for which i had a submission), they only used like 7. That is not very many.

here is my problem with cartoons:
I CANT DRAW THEM!!!!
everytime i try to draw cartoons, subconciously, or consciously, who the - knows?!, i think "that doesnt look very realtistic" then it turns into a DISASTER AREA! it is so bad the local cops have to call the fbi and put up caution tape!

so...

any tips? *cute kiddy smile*

ugh i want to write so badly but i just cant think of a single thing to write or write about. i just dont know. any help?

i dont remember, aside from the last couple of months, when i was ever HAPPY. ive always been depressed. however, in the recent days, my depression has done everything it shouldnt. ive been angry, sad, lonely, nervous, bored, alone, unexplainable, unexplained, explosive, laughably ignorant, hateful, hated, devestated, and tearful. i know who i am. i am a transman. my name is emmett alexander james reed. i am a stunningly handsome young man. i am too nice for the average joe to handle. i am too honest for abe lincoln. i am short, fat, booby (haha boob), intelligent, well thougt out, and blonde (literally, not figuratively). i know all of these things, and i tell them to myself often. but, i just cant help but to feel sad. the other day, my mom and i sat in the living room, joking, laughing, watching television. luckily, she was turned away when suddenly, tears spurt from my ducts, leaked from my sockets, drained from my pupils. i turned away also, pretending to fidget with my phone, which isnt an unusual act for me, so i could make sure she didnt see. all the while thinking to myself, in my evershaping mannerisms "boys dont cry". within less than a minute, they were gone. not even enough came out to leave my hoops brimmed red.

i have been suicidal in the past. but to you, my friends, i say:

"i will not die just because i am ill-equipped to live."

i will also say, "that isnt the slogan i wanted to end with, but i couldnt remember the better one, so thatll have to do."

please do NOT do the "oh babe...we need to talk more.";"dont go off and do something crazy" bit. i just needed a pep talk for myself, and possibly for anyone who may be able to relate.